Chapter 6 "Worries and Nightmares" ~ Entry 23: "'This isn't like you, aniki.'" Amiboshi Suboshi said that to me earlier...he caught me in an emotional moment. I was just staring into space longingly...guess I've been pretty...not like myself lately. Emotional...quiet... Lonely. Crying myself to sleep every night...my bed seems so much colder than usual lately. It feels like...I'm in our room, all alone...without him... nevermind that he's asleep in the bed on the other side of the room. Great. I feel like crying again. What's WRONG with me?! I'm tired of being so depressed, I seem like...like some...emotional woman! Damn you, Amiboshi. You just had to fall in love with your brother, didn't you? *dissolves in tears* Entry 24: "What the hell's WRONG with you lately?!" Suboshi You're supposed to be crying and heartbroken over Yui-sama. Yet for the last 2 days you've been obsessed with your brother, Suboshi! Yeah, he's been very depressed and hasn't slept and barely eats anything, but...it's like that isn't all you're worried about, is it? I didn't think so. *sighs* He won't even talk to me anymore...yeah, he'll comfort me without hesitation, but every time I try and talk to him, all of a sudden he doesn't feel well and needs to lie down, or is too busy playing his flute... I could listen to him play his flute for hours...*smiles slightly* So beautiful... Just like he is... I know, we look exactly the same...but there's just something about him. His smile...the way his eyes shine...they're always so kind, so warm and gentle...he's never angry, it seems. Miaka's a fool. She doesn't know what a wonderful person she's missing. ...Does...he still love her? Last thing I heard of it was Miaka said they would just still be friends... What if...aniki's depression is...because he's still in love with her? Aniki... *feels his eyes sting with tears* If he still...loves her...th-there's no way... ...Why am I thinking this way...it's as if... *squeezes his eyes shut as the tears force their way down his cheeks* This isn't...I-I'm not just...confused... I'm...r-really...i-in love with him...my own brother... *collapses onto his bed, sobbing* Entry 25: "Dreams..." Suboshi Why is it the most horrifying dreams are the most vivid ones? Last night...I dreamed that Yui-sama and I had spent the night in a tent together, in a storm. She was frightened, so I held her and as she was clinging to me, we found ourselves wanting each other so badly...we ended up making love. *blushes* I remember the passion we shared in the dream so vividly...then a few days later, she came to me and said she was pregnant. We couldn't even begin to figure out what we were going to do about this, because soon after, Nakago found out and kidnapped her, then told Amiboshi. The worst, and naturally most vivid, part of the dream was Amiboshi confronting me...he was angry. He told me that I had betrayed him and would never speak to me again. The look in his eyes was one I'd never seen before...hatred. He pinned me to the ground and slapped me, then stormed off...the next time I saw him was an evil, twisted shadow of himself, standing beside Nakago. Yui-sama was bound and gagged, screaming as they beat her with whips. Then... The bastard said "He didn't deserve you anyway." Amiboshi just nodded, then... They kissed. On the lips. Passionately. As I watched on in horror, Soi said "You broke his heart when you slept with her. He loved you." Then I woke up, drenched in sweat and tears...and feeling ashamed of myself... Was aniki really upset at my being in love with Yui-sama? If...she and I had a chance...would he have sold his soul to the bastard? And I can still hear Soi, telling me... "He loved you..." "You broke his heart..." Could this mean...? A-Aniki...*closes his eyes, holding back a stream of tears* Entry 26: "Suboshi..." Amiboshi Last night, he told me, through rivers of tears, that...it was his fault I was depressed. I managed to reassure him it wasn't, but he didn't seem very...convinced...he slept so fitfully against me, holding onto me like a falling man to the edge of a cliff. I made such a fool of myself last night while I was talking to him. I said "I want your happiness, even if it's with another"...he just stared at me, looking confused...how could I have been careless enough to let the secret slip, that I'm falling for him? What would he say? *sighs* I'm still so worried about him...